New Year, Old Jeer

Overall, the past year has not been great…and, am I the only one who’s cynical about New Year’s celebrations? (Hence, a part of the reason for my delay in writing this, an attempt to keep negativity from tainting it through and through.) I mean, disappointing circumstances don’t magically dissolve at the stroke of midnight on January 1… And each time I’ve looked to a new year as a time for “new beginnings” or something like that, I’ve ended up getting burned somewhere along the way, never making the progress in life that I intended to make. So, after 2012 fell abysmally short of my hopes, dreams, and expectations, I’ve resolved to restrain myself from “dreaming big” or making lofty hopes this year, and instead just see how life plays out, one day at a time. Maybe I’ll have a less disappointing 2013. Maybe it’ll even go better than last year, or maybe I’ll just end up limiting its potential for greatness, by not going after big hopes, dreams, goals, etc. I don’t know. I do know that I’m tired of coming up short year after year, however.

I guess I could give a slight background. I believed 2012 would be “my year”, finally, the year I finally could get a job, get a car, move out, and (most importantly of all), improve my social and spiritual life, that I may grow closer to old friends, make new friends, and grow closer to God. Well, long story short, very little of any of that happened. I’m still stuck in the same ol’ spiritual and relational rut I’ve been in these last several years, still lonely as ever, still tired of falling behind (as life continues to pass by each day). This is not for lack of effort of trying to rise above all this… endless delays, failed plans, and a persistent malaise I can’t really stand—they keep chipping away at my soul…and now bank account as well. When you know that you and your family can be thrown out on the street any day now, that’s when you know you’re dangling at the end of the rope…and who knows when that rope may snap?

These days, I’ve been trying to generate some income online, to aid in my family’s effort to recover from the brink of financial disaster. It’s why I was wildly inconsistent in updating my music charts toward the end of last year, and why I’ve been so slow with making other updates and new content for the site. I’m hopeful about my efforts so far—I’ve sold website setup and website optimization services to a few people so far, but I definitely need to expand my efforts (I plan on starting up another web site soon, advertising my services). In the meantime, if you or anyone else you know could use a website (like for a blog, small business, etc.), please feel free to contact me. At the very least, please feel free to send up a prayer for my family and me—thanks ☺

So…I suppose I could jeer at the shortcomings of 2012 and previous years, as well as this year so far…but, will that really solve anything? Of course not…it probably just reinforces all the negativities in and surrounding my life, which I don’t want. As hard as it is, I need to maintain at least a hint of a positive outlook…things will get better, eventually. I just hope it’s much sooner than later.

If you read this, thank you, and please feel free to comment below. Did you have a good 2012? Do you have any big plans for 2013? Where is life taking you?